22 Reasons Why English is
Hard to Learn!
1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to
present the present.
8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the
12) There was a row among the oarsmen
about how to row.
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18) After a number of injections my jaw got number.
19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting, I shed a
20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
22) The accountant at the music store records records of the records.
Let's face it-English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant
nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
English muffins weren't invented in England
or French Fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies
while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.
We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that
quicksand works slowly, boxing rings are square and
a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that
writers write, but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't
ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One
goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One
index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that
you can make amends but not one amend, that you comb through annals of history
but not a single annal? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of
all but one of them, what do you call it?
If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats
vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes
I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the
verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a
recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have
noses that run and feet that smell? How can a
slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are
opposites? How can overlook and oversee be opposites, while quite a lot and
quite a few are alike? How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as
Have you noticed that we talk about certain things only when they are
absent? Have you ever seen a horsefull carriage or a strapfull
gown? Met a sung hero or experienced requited love? Have you ever
met someone who was combobulated, gruntled, ruly or
peccable? And where are all those people who are spring chickens or who would
actually hurt a fly? You have to marvel at the
unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down,
in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off
by going on.
English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the
creativity of the human race (which, of course, isn't a race at all). That is
why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out,
they are invisible.
And why, when I wind up my watch, I
start it, but when I wind up this essay,
I end it.
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Assoc Inc. - All Rights Reserved.